your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize