Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
