So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
