That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
