I want to have your abortion
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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