I could make wine with my vomit
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
