he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
