This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just high enough for therapy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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