Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
