yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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