dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
