sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
