I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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