And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
