ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
