Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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