This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this will be a night to untag.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
