I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
