So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
