so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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