FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize