Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
