if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
