At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My feet surprised me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
