oh god the rape fog is back!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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