the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize