I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
