critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
