Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
