My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize