I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
