You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
