She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
