why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
