I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
