I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize