Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
