Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
