so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
