just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
