I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
