Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize