Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the day after is always just damage control
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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