i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
