she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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