I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
