smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
