This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
