I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize