omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
