Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
