we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
