I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All the doctor said was why
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize