i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
