what day is it and did you see me today?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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