I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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