everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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