Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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