How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
